meditations dec 16

Sometimes you spend time actively not thinking about them and just.. you sort of forget... there's so much to do and it's all immediate. But then you’re trying to find something and end up looking in some place you haven’t for a while and bam! it’s right there and suddenly you’re filled with emotions. You want to cry because it’s not fair you didn’t have a lot of time with them and they were an ocean away and couldn’t come visit you because of stupid reasons. Either way you want to cry.. Which is why you actively avoid it all usually. But you know, right after your mood drops real bad and you cry it out.. there’s a sort of calmness afterwards. Maybe you just get tired. It’s alright, sometimes you need to feel.